Some achievements deserve a medal. Others just deserve a piss-take. 🏆

Introducing our “CONGRATS ON SURVIVING 30+ YEARS OF BEING A WANKER” card from Wonky Cards the brutally honest birthday card that celebrates life’s most questionable milestones. Because let’s face it, surviving three decades of bad decisions, hangovers, and dodgy exes is an achievement worth mocking.

Perfect for your best mate, your brother, your office legend, or that one bloke who thinks he’s God’s gift this card delivers peak British banter with a side of eco-friendly charm. It’s rude, it’s real, and it’s guaranteed to get a belly laugh (or an offended glare).

And because we believe in doing our dirty work sustainably, every card is printed on our signature plantable seed paper. Once the insults are over, they can plant it and grow wildflowers redemption, literally in bloom. 🌱

So if you’re looking for a card that’s filthier than a stag-do in Magaluf and funnier than a sober group chat, this one’s the dog’s bollocks. Roast responsibly.

Please Note

The colours you see online may exhibit slight variations compared to the actual printed product. Since computer monitors and phone screens can display colours differently, please bear this in mind when reviewing your design.

Furthermore, all our cards are printed on seed paper, adding an eco-friendly touch to your message. These cards can be easily planted, and you’ll find instructions on how to grow these little beauties right on the back of the card.

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