Don’t Steal The Fucking Pens

Well, sharpen your pencils and guard your stationery drawer — this one’s for the pen pinchers! ✒️

Introducing our “DON’T STEAL THE FUCKING PENS” card from Wonky Cards. Forget the lovey-dovey nonsense; this is a full-on public service announcement for every office thief, housemate, or “just borrowing” mate who never returns your pens. Brutal honesty, British humour, and a splash of sass all rolled into one.

Perfect for work colleagues with sticky fingers, mates who “forget” to give things back, or even as a tongue-in-cheek reminder for your other half — because let’s face it, the pen graveyard is real. This card says what we’re all thinking but don’t say out loud (until now).

And because we like mixing the sweary with the sweet, every card is printed on our eco-friendly plantable seed paper. That means after they’ve had their laugh (and hopefully returned your pens), they can plant it in soil and watch wildflowers grow. A moan today, a blooming garden tomorrow — balance, right? 🌱

So if you’re after a card that’s sharper than your biro, cheekier than your boss’s banter, and guaranteed to get a laugh, this is the one. Go on — spread the word, save the pens, and make someone giggle.

Please Note

The colours you see online may exhibit slight variations compared to the actual printed product. Since computer monitors and phone screens can display colours differently, please bear this in mind when reviewing your design.

Furthermore, all our cards are printed on seed paper, adding an eco-friendly touch to your message. These cards can be easily planted, and you’ll find instructions on how to grow these little beauties right on the back of the card.

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