Happy Retirement Finally Time To Wank In Peace
Well, the alarm clock’s gone, the boss is history, and the only deadlines left are self-imposed. 💦🎉
Introducing our “HAPPY RETIREMENT – FINALLY TIME TO WANK IN PEACE” card from Wonky Cards the ultimate farewell for the workmate who’s traded spreadsheets for self-care. Perfect for the colleague, mate, or uncle who’s been counting down the days ‘til they can start every morning with a cuppa and questionable life choices.
Forget your boring “Enjoy your retirement” fluff this card delivers the proper British send-off: a filthy laugh, a knowing wink, and a touch of eco-friendly class. It’s rude, it’s bold, and it’s guaranteed to make HR sweat a little.
And because even our smut has morals, every Wonky Card is printed on eco-friendly plantable seed paper. Once the laughter dies down and the tissues (for gardening, of course) come out, they can plant it in some soil and grow wildflowers. Retirement peace and pollination what a legacy. 🌱
So if you’re after a card that’s cheekier than a builder’s bum and twice as unforgettable, this one’s the dog’s bollocks.
Please Note
The colours you see online may exhibit slight variations compared to the actual printed product. Since computer monitors and phone screens can display colours differently, please bear this in mind when reviewing your design.
Furthermore, all our cards are printed on seed paper, adding an eco-friendly touch to your message. These cards can be easily planted, and you’ll find instructions on how to grow these little beauties right on the back of the card.
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