Happy Birthday YOU Useless Sack Of ShIt

Well, light the candles and lower your standards — it’s that time again. 🎂

Introducing our “HAPPY BIRTHDAY – YOU USELESS SACK OF SHIT” card from Wonky Cards the brutally honest birthday message for mates, siblings, or colleagues who’ve accomplished absolutely sod all this year.

Forget the polite “hope you have a great day” nonsense this card says what everyone’s really thinking. Perfect for the friend who still can’t cook pasta, forgets their own birthday plans, or needs Google to spell “responsibility.” It’s savage, simple, and absolutely side-splitting.

And because we believe in sustainability even when we’re being savage, every card is printed on eco-friendly plantable seed paper. Once they’ve finished crying (or laughing), they can plant it in some soil and grow wildflowers a touching reminder that even useless sacks of shit can still contribute something to the planet. 🌱

So if you’re after a card that’s ruder than a late-night kebab and funnier than their life choices, this one’s the dog’s bollocks.

Please Note

The colours you see online may exhibit slight variations compared to the actual printed product. Since computer monitors and phone screens can display colours differently, please bear this in mind when reviewing your design.

Furthermore, all our cards are printed on seed paper, adding an eco-friendly touch to your message. These cards can be easily planted, and you’ll find instructions on how to grow these little beauties right on the back of the card.

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