Fuck You're Old DICKHEAD
Well, blow me down and call me ancient someone’s officially old as fuck! 🎂
Introducing our “FUCK YOU’RE OLD, DICKHEAD” card from Wonky Cards — the brutally honest birthday card that skips the fake niceties and dives straight into savage truth. Perfect for mates, siblings, or colleagues who pretend they’re still 25 but grunt every time they sit down.
This isn’t your average “Happy Birthday” fluff. It’s pure British banter rude, loud, and guaranteed to get a laugh (or a middle finger). Ideal for anyone who enjoys dark humour, pub-level roasts, and reminding people their best years are firmly behind them.
And because we’re classy bastards, every Wonky Card is printed on eco-friendly plantable seed paper. Once the laughter fades (and the existential crisis kicks in), they can plant it and grow wildflowers. A little life sprouting from the ashes of their youth. 🌱
So if you’re after a birthday card that’s filthier than a late-night kebab and funnier than a hangover apology, this one’s the dog’s bollocks.
Please Note
The colours you see online may exhibit slight variations compared to the actual printed product. Since computer monitors and phone screens can display colours differently, please bear this in mind when reviewing your design.
Furthermore, all our cards are printed on seed paper, adding an eco-friendly touch to your message. These cards can be easily planted, and you’ll find instructions on how to grow these little beauties right on the back of the card.
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